“Don’t fall into a routine.” “DON’T fall into a routine!”
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It’s something I never stop saying…but it keeps happening to so many couples.
You may even find that you and your man have fallen into a routine when it comes to foreplay.To avoid this, I am giving you 22 powerful foreplay techniques, tips, ideas, and games so that foreplay never becomes routine for you or your man.
Before we jump in, you may want listen to my recent podcast on doing foreplay the right way. The foreplay techniques that you’ll learn in this podcast will help you to build a fire of intense passion within your man and make sex a lot more enjoyable for both of you.
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
1. Mental Foreplay AKA Building Sexual Tension
I like to call the build up to physical foreplay ‘Mental Foreplay,’ but most people just call it building sexual tension. Sexual tension is where you are teasing and tempting your man of what treats and sexy fun he’s going to enjoy later. There are a number of very easy and quick ways to put this foreplay tip into action.
Start With A Goodbye – The next time you are saying goodbye to your man, tell him that you will have a big surprise for him the next time you see him and say it with a sly grin on your face so he knows it’s something naughty.
You could say this in the morning when he’s leaving for work and then give him ‘the surprise’ later in the evening. Or it could be in a few days time. The key is to keep him wondering, thinking about what’s in store.
Suggestive Dirty Text Messages – When you are not around your man, try sending him some dirty text messages, suggesting what might be happening later. Make sure that you are indirect and even vague with these messages, so it keeps your man thinking, wondering what’s in store for later. Here are a few examples:
- Can’t wait for later, so horny right now! x
- Just getting ready to blow your mind later!
- So glad my roommate isn’t going to be around when you get over…I’ve got something naughty planned for you!
- I’m getting wet just thinking about what I have scheduled for this evening 😉
For more tips on naughty texting, check out these 43 sexting examples.
Hopefully this gives you an idea of the things you can do to build sexual tension before you even get physical with your man. For more tips on mental foreplay, check out this guide to building sexual tension.
Guys are visual.
That’s an obvious statement, but it often needs to be repeated…why do you think pornography is a multi-billion dollar business after all?
With this in mind, what you wear plays a massive role in turning your man on and making him eager for sex.
Your Clothes – I’m not trying to suggest that you go out to Victoria’s Secret and splurge on a whole new wardrobe of lingerie, but what I am suggesting is that you have 1 or 2 things in your closet that you can wear when you really want to turn on your man. Remember, guys get excited by what they see, so use this to your advantage.
Your Hair – As well as dressing sexy, don’t forget about your hair and makeup too. Do you look sexier with your hair down or in a ponytail or in a bun or in a different style altogether? Try experimenting a little bit with what works best for turning your man on.
Your Make Up – Does a certain lipstick make your lips look more enticing or does a particular eye shadow make your eyes glimmer?
This all seems so obvious, right? The thing is that many women don’t see their appearance as a potential foreplay technique when trying to turn their man on.
3. Public Foreplay
I know that public play is a foreplay idea that’s not for everyone, but hear me out…
The goal of public foreplay is to turn your man on, it’s not to actually have sex in public or get naked or anything like that. The best part about this foreplay idea is that it’s perfect for building sexual tension!
And sexual tension is what will ultimately make sex a whole lot more fun and for both of you.
Here are a few things that you can do with your man during public foreplay to amp up the sexual tension:
- Rub and caress the inside of his leg.
- Pinch his bum.
- Kiss him, but not too much (leave him wanting more).
- Talk dirty to him (let him know a few details of what you’re planning for later).
- Put your arm around him.
- ‘Accidentally’ graze or touch his crotch every once in a while.
- Grab his hand and put it on your leg.
Remember the whole purpose of this foreplay idea is not to actually start having sex in public. It’s to build sexual tension.
4. Start at the Bar
This foreplay idea is perfect for those couples who find that their relationship has become a little stale recently and they want to spice things up.
While traditional foreplay involves touching and arousing each other right before having sex, ‘Start at the Bar’ is a simple scenario to make things fun again. You and your man need to arrange a time to meet in a bar. When you arrive, you both need to act like it’s a first date. So he’ll be ordering drinks and flirting with you and trying to get you to go home with him.
He’ll be kissing you, touching you, and reminding you why you got together in the first place.
Of course, this can feel a little silly, but that’s the point. The goal is get yourself loosened up and reminiscing of when you first started dating.
‘Start at the Bar’ definitely isn’t a regular foreplay technique, but it is a bunch of fun if you use it every once in a while.
5. Pinching, Grabbing, Groping & Touching
Sean, I’m a grown woman, I know that I have to touch my man to turn him on! I thought this article was about foreplay tips?
It is about foreplay tips! But how you touch your man plays a crucial role during foreplay. Let me ask you a few questions:
Do you start touching him without provocation or for no reason at all? Or do you wait for him to start touching you first?
Do you rub, massage, caress, grab and hold your man or do you just rest your hands on his back when having sex with him?
These are important questions that you need to ask yourself. Most guys enjoy being with someone who is sometimes an aggressor and sometimes more submissive and receptive to them.
Please, please keep this in mind when you want to initiate foreplay with him or he is initiating it with you. There are so many different ways to touch your man that give him a range of different sensations. Here are just a few ideas to get your brain thinking about how to touch him:
- You can softly wrap your hands around his neck and pull him in to kiss him.
- You can put your hands under his shirt and run your nails up and down his back.
- You can grab his ass outside his trousers and pinch it.
- You can massage his back, neck, and shoulders.
- You can teasingly run your fingers along the inside of his leg, right up to his crotch.
- You can run your fingers through his scalp to massage it.
- When he’s not expecting it, you can even tickle him to keep things exciting.
Now have a think about how you like your man to touch and caress you and simply do it back to him. Of course, it’s even hotter when you get touchy with your man while talking dirty to him. Read the Dirty Talking Guide for exactly what to say to him.
6. Secret Shower
Surprising your man in the shower can make for some really hot foreplay…and sex!
A really simple foreplay game is to be really flirty with him and tease him before you are both about to go to bed together. Then before you do jump into bed, ask your man to have a shower first and tell him that you’ll dry him off afterward.
When your man hops in the shower follow him in a minute later and start washing him. But don’t think about giving him a hand job or blow job while in there. Wait until after the shower! He’ll practically be begging for it.
Pro Tip: Washing his private parts with soap and water will feel extra intense thanks to the texture of the soapy water on his genitals.
Oh, and don’t forget to dry him off afterwards!
If you have read the kissing section, then you will have picked up some great tips on how to passionately kiss your man.
But maybe you don’t have time to read a whole section dedicated to the art of kissing your man. Here are some quick tips to kissing your man passionately.
Tongue & Lips & Teeth – Don’t forget that when you are kissing your man it’s not just about using your lips. You can use your tongue to massage his lips and tongue. Your taste buds also gives him a slightly rougher sensation than your lips so make sure to use your tongue too.
From time to time, you can also use your teeth to gently nibble his lips and tongue. Just remember that you don’t want to bite him, but just squeezing his lips or tongue between your teeth.
Outside His Mouth – There are more great places to kiss your man than on his lips and mouth. Try slowly moving across his face as you kiss him. Move from his lips, across his cheek to his neck and then slowly make your way up his neck to his ear lobes.
Then after kissing him a bit on his ears and ear lobe, move back across his cheek to his mouth. If you want, you can do the same to the other side of his face.
Ok, that’s it for kissing. I further expand on this foreplay tip in the kissing section.
8. Men & Massages
Men love massages just as much as you do. So the next time you and your man have some alone time and are preparing to get a little frisky, why not do something different and start giving him a massage. It’s super easy to pull off:
Starting Off – Just get your man to lie on his stomach and then sit on his bum with a leg on either side of him. With your palms open, gently push them up and down his back, staying to the side of his spine. With all massages, you want to focus on his muscles and NEVER on his joints or bones.
Pro Tip: You’ll find that using a little coconut oil will make your hands glide up and down smoothly.
Change Things Up A Little – You’ll notice that pushing your hands up and down gets repetitive very quickly, so to change it up a little, try clenching your hand to make a fist. Softly drive your fist into the muscles in your man’s back while at the same time, moving it up and down at a speed that is slightly slower than when you were using your palms.
Just remember not to be too severe with your strokes, you want to massage him not hurt him!
The Top Section – After trying out these two different techniques, move your hands towards the upper part of his back, around his shoulders and neck. You’re going to lightly squeeze different parts of his shoulders and neck between your thumb and fingers.
And that’s all there is to giving your man a simple massage when he’s lying down in bed. Don’t forget to alternate between what technique you are using on him so that neither you or your man get bored.
9. Put on a Self Pleasure Show
Putting on a self-pleasure show for your man is a powerful foreplay technique because it’s a massive turn on for him AND you are showing him exactly how you like to get touched!
As I keep saying, guys get turned on mostly by what they see.
So why not take advantage of this? Men find it incredibly hot seeing their girl getting off. So the next time you are in bed with him ask him if he’d like you to put on a little show for him. He won’t say no!
There are a number of ways that you can make your ‘self-pleasure’ show hotter:
- Tell him that he can only watch until you finish, that you enjoy teasing him and want to see him watching, but not touching. This kind of teasing will make him jump you when you finally give him permission to get involved.
- Why not try using some toys during your show. It can make it far hotter and sexier for both of you. Tips on using a vibrator here. Tips on using a dildo here.
- Let your man join in with you. He can focus on your neck and breasts while you rub your clit. Or he can finger you while you rub your clit.
- Try starting off with a striptease and then moving on to a ‘self-pleasure’ show.
- Don’t forget to tell him how much you’re enjoying yourself. Talking in explicit detail about how much fun you’re having is going to make him extra horny.
Putting on a show for your man is a foreplay idea that can be a bit tricky to pull off if you are not already super comfortable around each other. If you are feeling nervous, then try turning the lights down low or even getting a little tipsy first.
10. Give Him Guidance
This next foreplay idea is very similar to the previous one and is awesome for teaching your man exactly what you need.
Simply put, when you and your man are fooling around, you’re going to show him what kinds of things you enjoy the most. I’m not talking about drawing him detailed pictures on a blackboard or telling him in deep detail what you enjoy.
Instead, you are going to be taking his hand and guiding it to where you want it. If you want you can also tell him how much pressure to apply and how fast to move.
This way, you can show him how to finger you better, how to rub your clitoris, how to massage your breasts and how to hold your hair or whatever you want to show him.
This foreplay tip takes a little bit of confidence on your part, but the benefits are massive, especially if you praise him while he’s doing it. Soon he will know exactly how to touch you, caress you and please you for maximum satisfaction.
11. The Kiss Trail
A super pleasurable foreplay technique is to smoothly transition from kissing your man to giving him a blow job.
You can do this by first kissing him on the lips, then slowly moving down from his mouth, kissing his neck, then moving further down by kissing his chest and stomach before reaching his groin. The entire time you are doing this, you’ll be kissing, licking, sucking and gently biting his skin.
You can do this quickly in a matter or seconds, or you can draw it out over a number of minutes, taking your time.
Once you reach his groin, you can softly bite and kiss the inside of his legs before you start giving him oral sex. If you want to learn some powerful blow job techniques, then make sure you check out the Blow Job Guide.
12. The Hidden Surprise
This next foreplay game involves a remote controlled egg vibrator. You are going to be wearing it, while your man will be controlling it.
To play ‘Hidden Surprise,’ you need to be in a restaurant or mall together, but if you prefer, you can play this game in your house/apartment too. Your man’s goal is to give you as many orgasms as possible and to make it visible to others that you are having an orgasm, while your goal is to be as discreet as possible and to try to conceal the fact that you are wearing a vibrator.
This game can be fun if both you and your man enjoy public play. And don’t worry too much about winning or losing. You are both winners just for playing!
13. Dominance & Submission
Note: This foreplay technique does not necessarily mean whips and chains!
When I talk about dominance and submission, I’m actually talking about how you act in bed with your man.
Too often people fall into a routine. Falling into a routine can be a good thing for a job or for keeping a regular savings account.
Alternating between dominance and submission is an excellent way to avoid this.
Remember I said dominance and submission doesn’t have to involve whips and chains. What I am talking about is much more subtle. Here’re some things you can do to become either more dominant or submissive:
- If your man is always the one who initiates sex, then try becoming a little more dominant and be the one who starts it sometimes. Not every time, just sometimes.
- If you are always the dominant one, then the next time during foreplay, try getting down on your knees to give him a submissive blow job.
- Try talking dirty to your man and ordering him around. Order him into bed. Order him to go down on you and eat you out. Order him to give you a back massage. More tips and examples for talking dirty in the Dirty Talking Guide.
- The next time during foreplay, push your man down onto the bed and straddle him, taking control.
14. Playfighting your Way to Pleasure
Have you ever play fought with your man? It’s hot, right?
That’s the idea behind this next foreplay technique. You are going to be play fighting with your man, wrestling with him, struggling to pin him down and make him submit.
The goal here isn’t to win or lose, but simply to get physical with your man, which naturally lends itself to being a very arousing foreplay technique.
So, the next time you are both standing up beside a sofa or even your bed, playfully push him down and then straddle him. Look him in the eye, smile slyly and then gently push him down. When you do then straddle him, put your hands on his cheeks or neck and start kissing him. He will turn to butter!
Here are some more ideas you can use to wrestle your man.
- Pin his arms above his head.
- Grab his ankle and start tickling his foot.
- Twist his arm behind his back.
- Sneak up behind him, grab him and try to wrestle him to the ground.
- Let him pin you down and have his way with you.
I think these examples give you a good idea of what you can do to wrestle with your man. Just remember, the goal of this foreplay idea is to get physical and have fun with him.
15. Hot & Cold
Hot & Cold is a simple, fun foreplay game to play with your man. This is because it will teach both you and your man what areas of your body are most pleasurable. To play it, you first need to choose a part of your body that your man needs to find (say your clitoris). But, don’t tell him what body part you’ve chosen!
Next, he needs to find it by slowly kissing you across your body, while you instruct him by saying either “Hot” or “Cold” depending on how close he is your chosen body part or erogenous zone. The key here is to only say “Hot” or “Cold” a few times so that he really has to work hard trying to find where the spot is. Don’t say it too often either, so he must take his time.
Then after he finds the spot, he needs to spend a full minute kissing, licking and nibbling on it before you swap roles, so that you are now the one doing the kissing and sucking. The whole idea is to only choose spots on your body that are really sensitive and get you off, whether it’s your feet, lips, neck or ears.
16. Sex Dice
Sex dice are a classic foreplay game. They come in a pair, one with actions printed on each side, the other with body parts printed on each side. So when you roll them both, you should get a results like:
- Suck (the action) Boobs (the body part)
- Caress Lips
- Fondle Genitals
- Rub Neck
Ideally you should buy a pair of purpose made sex dice and take turns throwing them for each other. So when you throw them, your man must follow the instructions they give.
Alternatively, you can use two regular dice and make your own custom sex dice foreplay game. You then need to make a list of six actions. Here’s 6 example actions, but feel free to choose your own:
You also need to make a list of your six favorite body parts. Here’s 6 examples:
When you roll both dice together, you’ll be told what to do, for example: lick his lips, fondle her genitals, kiss her back, rub his bum, etc. The aim of this foreplay game is to take turns at rolling the dice and do what they say.
This is another slightly silly foreplay game to play with your man, so my advice is to have a few drinks as you play it and don’t take it too seriously.
17. The Foreplay List
The Foreplay List is an enjoyable foreplay game that requires a bit of preparation, so if you prefer spontaneous sex, then this may not be for you. Here’s how to play it:
1) Both you and your man need to make a list with the same number of items. Each item must include some type of foreplay that you want to try with each other. It could be a fetish of yours, something romantic, a new technique or even something that you’ve never discussed before.
2) You then need to help your man to complete his list of wants and desires. Meanwhile he should be helping you to finish yours.
3) The person who completes their list first is the ‘winner’ and needs to do something nice for the ‘loser,’ like taking them out on a date, cooking them their favorite meal or just taking them to the movies.
Here are a few examples to give you an idea of what to add to your Foreplay List:
- Kiss me all over my body non-stop for a full hour.
- Go down on me for a full 20 minutes.
- Cook me dinner wearing just an apron and nothing else.
- Give me a foot job. Read the Foot Job Guide here if you’re interested.
Of course, the Foreplay list can be expanded to become a Sex List too if you want.
18. The Countdown
This foreplay game requires a countdown timer on your watch or phone.
You are going to be setting a countdown where neither you or your man can touch each other’s genitals. You can do absolutely anything else you like, but you absolutely cannot give him a hand job/blow job, and he can’t finger you/rub your clit either. This also rules out sex.
The purpose of The Countdown is to teach you how to please each other in more indirect ways. Here are a few examples:
- Kissing each other passionately
- Massaging each other (massage tips here)
- Light BDSM (tips here)
- Dressing seductively
- Groping your man
While this can be fun for few minutes, setting the timer to three hours or more is the perfect way to build some intense sexual tension and anticipation before you get down to the deed itself.
19. Have you Tried Porn?
If you want to try a foreplay idea that is 100% guaranteed to turn your man on, then you may be keen to try watching some porn with him. This isn’t for everybody, but…
It’s a wonderful way to demonstrate to your man that you are serious about satisfying his needs. When he sees this, then he is going to be a lot more likely to reciprocate.
It’s also an easy way to explore and get new ideas with your man, even if most porn happens to be completely unrealistic.
Watching porn with your man is very easy. It’s a simple case of lying in bed with him and asking him if he wants to watch some porn on your laptop/phone. Unless your man is collapsing with exhaustion, then he will definitely say yes.
Of course, if you’re not a big fan of pornography then feel free to skip over this idea.
20. Driving Stick & Licking his Lollipop
Two foreplay techniques that will have your man groaning in deep, satisfying pleasure are hand jobs and blow jobs.
Giving your man a hand job is a tried and true foreplay technique the will put a smile on his face. And if you can do it just right, then it can feel almost as good as sex for him. You can read the in-depth and detailed Hand Job Guide here to learn how to master the art of heavenly hand jobs.
Moving from giving your man a hand job to giving him a blow job is seamless. In fact you’ll find that it’s quite easy to keep giving the lower part of his cock a hand job with your hands, while putting your mouth over the top of his penis to suck him off. For everything there is to know about how to give your man a perfect blow job, check out the oral sex techniques in the Blow Job Guide here.
If you use any of the foreplay techniques above, you will have one very happy man…a guy who can barely contain himself!
But if you keep on using the same foreplay technique over and over again without variation, then your man is going to get bored.
It’s just a fact of life. Humans crave variety. Hence the phrase, “Variety is the spice of life.”
You, your man and everyone else on this planet gets incredibly bored very quickly when you do the same thing day in, day out. I really can’t stress this enough. Variation is crucial.
So make sure that you vary what foreplay techniques you use. This way, your man never knows what to expect next from you. The same is true when giving him a blow job when you’re talking dirty (learn hundreds of dirty talk examples here) or having sex (ldiscover over 110+ different sex positions here).
22. You Talk Right?
I’m always shocked at some of the emails I get. I repeatedly get asked to decode what a man wants in the bedroom. Now, I’d love to give you a simple black and white answer, but the truth is that every man (and woman) is different.
Some want to simply snuggle a little before sex while others would prefer you to be aggressive and the initiator. Some guys may even have a kink that they’ve never told anyone that deeply arouses them.
Your man may want to dominate you or perhaps he wants to be submissive to you.
The only way to find out what types of foreplay (and sex) that your man enjoys is to talk to him and find out for yourself.
And it’s just as important that he learns what you need to get aroused and in the mood. So, if you find that any of these foreplay tips and techniques aren’t having the intended effect, then talk to your man to discover what he enjoys and let him know what you like too.
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